Thursday, June 19, 2008

a horn to toot

Funny how I just recently wrote this gushing post over at BabyCenter about my perfect husband and suddenly the only thing gushing from me is a poisonous venom spawned from childish disappointment.

Honestly. You can play the grown up all you want; buy the house, reproduce, read the parenting manuals, pay the taxes, and attend friends for education meetings-- but the little kid inside of you never really leaves the building.

I'm at my worst with my children when I let my insecurities about their futures skew my vision of who and what they really are as well as what really matters. And it works the same way with husbands. You want so much for someone, or so you think, but how much of it is really about how who they are reflects back upon you?

I'm resisting the urge to go into any detail here. Let's suffice it to say, I married a man whose talents are seemingly boundless and whose voice rarely rises above a the gentlest whisper. What is wrong with that, you may ask? Well, people can't hear him.

Perhaps I should install a horn somewhere on his person, which he could toot when he was feeling bold. I bet he would just MacGuyver some sort of muffler for it so the sound wouldn't startle or offend anyone. Sigh.


momma's heart said...

Hey Betsy! I, too, am married to a mild-mannered, quiet man whose talents aren't recognized - although he can't do much with a hammer and nails, like your honey. LOL Mine also loves photography, BYW. If you are feeling like you need to toot his horn, and get to feeling embarrassed or irritated that you're the one who has to do it, I totally get that. Not sure if that is what you're driving at here, but if it is, I'm in the same boat.

So exciting to see a new post on your blog. I check every week or so. Take care.

Emma said...

Hi Betsy, Thanks for leaving a comment at my Blog, I really enjoy your Babycenter posts, so it's great to read other stuff you write. My husband is alos very mild mannered, I know what you mean. Sometimes I feel infuriated that he doesn't react! I'm more hot tempered, and then I forget about it.

You guys should definately come out to Australia. Actually at the moment I am excitedly awaiting the arrival of a dear friend from Hamilton, NY. She and her family will be living out here for a year on a university exchange.

Anyway, enjoy your week. xx Emma

Ashley said...

I'm glad to see you also feel that the little kid inside of you "never really leaves the building." My husband and I often comment that we feel like we're still just little kids playing house because we can't really figure out when we grew up.

My husband comes from an entire family of gentle whisperer types, and my favorite quote came from a friend friend who threatened to "beat the mellow" out of them. I consider myself my husband's personal amplifier at times.

Liz said...

Okay ladies, seriously -- my husband is the quiet one. He never takes any credit for anything. He always manages to put everyone else before himself. I've never seen him not place himself last in line at any group function and he has to be careful at the grocery store or he'll let everyone else step in front of him. If it's true that "the last shall be first", I'll know exactly where to find him in heaven someday!

momma's heart said...

I really enjoyed your babycenter posts! Hope my little girl takes to potty-training so well. Both boys were four months shy of 4 yrs. when they decided they were done with diapers.

Thanks for your encouragement on my blog.

Mama P said...

Betsy - I know how you feel. But ultimately, we can't have it all. Loud men rarely boost us in quiet ways. I kind of look at it like I'd rather have a man who knows ME than how to shout his talents to the outside world.

Not that you can't complain. Complain, complain! I'm there, girl. But you have a winner. You know that.

kristina said...

Hi Betsy, I know exactly what you mean about the little kid lurking inside -- and about a husband who doesn't toot his horn. Mine is outgoing and funny but when it comes to his accomplishments or work, he is quiet. And like you, I want others to hear him/see him.

momma's heart said...

I clicked over and read your latest Babe's Blog. Hilarious and beautiful! Thanks!