Monday, March 08, 2010

Fire cracker

As I helped Esther into her uber-cool, generic Chuck Taylor high-top sneakers, (Note to parents, these shoes can and will make you late for school) she unwrapped an OB tampon she found sitting on the kitchen table.

"Look," she said, making swirling motions with her hand as she clutched the tampon between her thumb and index finger, the string floating along behind. "It's a rocket."

"Yeah, a rocket," I said. "Now push your heel down."

"Does it hurt when you put this thing inside you?" she asked. (I liked it when she called them pompoms and didn't think to ask what they were for.)

"It doesn't feel nice," I said, struggling with her laces. "In fact, it makes me curse being a woman every time I do it."

She quietly flew her tampon rocket back and forth while I got her other shoe on. I threw her her coat and she didn't catch it. She was holding the tampon between her legs now.

"What if you lit the string on fire?" she asked. "Would it explode like a firecracker?"

"Now that would be exciting," I said. "Would you please get dressed. We're going to be late."

"I'm just going to put this away in my special bag," she said, running into her room.

If only I could muster such intrigue, such reverence, such awe, for all things feminine hygiene.

I am wondering how long it will take her before she digs through her special bag, where she holds all the little bits and pieces of life that have called out to her in some way or another--a marble, a special eraser from the Roald Dahl museum, an acorn from Vermont, a pebble from who knows where, an angel pendant--finds the frayed tampon and says,

"Hmm! I wonder why I saved this?"

When she reads this blog, she'll know.

Recent, earth-shattering BabyCenter posts can be found here and here.


cbs_111 said...

i have boys and while they haven't got to the point of asking why i use them are very intrigued by feminine products as well.

Marathon Mommy said...

When I need them, I will grab a few wrapped "rockets" and put them in my gym bag before I leave in the morning. A few weeks ago my son grabbed one excitedly and asked, "What is this??? Some kind of TREAT??!!" (Because surely anything wrapped in a shiny pink wrapper must mean some sort of wonderful thing...)

I assured him that no, it was definitely NOT a treat. Not even a little bit.

Brooke G. said...

And she will be so happy that you documented this ;D Toooooo funny!
I just got a total flashback of finding tampons in my mom's beach bag and having a complete melt down because she wouldn't hand over the "candy bars." They do kindof resemble candy bars -right???

(I am totally with you on the shoes. I just bought some for my little guy and they are a total pain in the ass - but they are SOOO darn cute on him!!!)

Erin@TheLocalsLoveIt said...

Oh dear. That was funny. I can only imagine blasting into space. This is one to look back on for sure.

Rachel_K said...

I don't think J has ever unwrapped one of mine yet to investiaget the contents. But oh boy when she does! I laughed at this. Recalling my own thoughts on tampons as a child...long time reader that clciked over from Baby Center too long ago to remember. I just realized you've been in France for nearly a year already! Are you thinking of taking a trip home this spring or summer for a visit?

Karin (an alien parisienne) said...

That. Is. Too. Hilarious! :D

I love how you report yourself as having such a blasé attitude about the whole thing -- the "yeah, yeah, now put your shoes on" thing. That kills me!

I love Esther's creative notions of what the possibilities for a tampon "pompom" LOL!) are, too. Hahaha!

Oh Betsy, there is never a dull moment, is there. :)

Emma said...

Hi Betsy,
In answer to your question from the previous post, I'm studying Midwifery. And it's 4.55am and I've been up since 3am worrying about everything i'm not doing! I love it, but wow... the guilt!

Andrea Frazer said...

LOL! Perhaps you can give her sanitary napkins as cushions for those high tops.

Meowmie said...

Oh boy, I laughed out loud at this entry (wonder what the serious academics in offices either side of me thought I was doing!). It was the rocket idea that set me giggling madly. Now I'll have to go through my handbag to disarm the little blighters.

JediMom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
JediMom said...

I love it! My son, 8, found my tampons last year. He likes to use them as rockets. I've found them all over the yard and wrappers behind the toliet. I can't wait till he's all grown up and I can share this part of his boyhood with a future wife!
(Had to many misspellings in the previous post.)