Friday, November 12, 2010

The world according to Isla

Thanks to Meara for the most fantastically stunning, mind-blowing princess dress ever.

Thanks to daddy, a.k.a. Marty Stewart,  for not just one, but two birthday cakes.
Isla is five. Five. Cinq. Funf. Half of ten. One quarter of twenty. On tenth of fifty.

Okay I will stop now because I never got higher than a C in any math class I ever took. This might have something to do with the fact that I often used high-school algebra and geometry class as a time to hike on the mountain behind our high school. May Ruth Upson rest in peace.

I have taken the time to try, a girl can try, to give those who don't have the great privilege of living under the same roof as Isla, a glimpse into her strange and beautiful world:

The world according to Isla

Halloween is a noun: As in, "Look Esther, I’ve got a Halloween and you’ve got a Halloween." (These were pumpkins she was referring to.)

Chocolate, and any food that seems to come laden with rules of conduct, tastes better when eaten while hiding under the kitchen table.

ABCs and 123s are interchangeable: AB3s and 1BCs, it’s all good.

Shoes are also interchangeable: as long as they fit, and they look nice, why does it matter what feet they are on?

The future and the past are irrelevant: here and now is all that matters. If one wants a cookie, "after lunch" is not an acceptable, or sensible, answer.

Sweets are meant to be eaten at any time of day and any good mommy worth her weight, should have them at hand at all times and in all places.

Drinking too much makes you pee and eating too much makes you poop.

Daddy’s are not beautiful, or soft.

Simba, if he ever saw her in real life, would want to be her friend.

England is full of English people. France is full of French people. And she is American.

There are two different kinds of days: school days and ballet days. All other kinds of days are confusing and unnecessary.

It would be fun if you could hop in, and then back out, of pictures in a book.

When she gets bigger, she willl be like her big sister, Esther.

Mommies should have dressups like princesses and daddies should have dressups lke princes.

Sometimes princesses are even on underpants.

When she gets bigger, she will still be my child.

When it comes to clothes, there are those that are good and those that are stupid. She will carry the secret to how you tell the stupid from the good to her grave.

The same goes for shoes and coats. The secret to coats lies in how easy it is to get your arms in without your sleeves riding up. Bumpiness, in any clothing, is bad.

Socks suck. Socks are an unnecessary nuisance and should be banished from this world.

You cannot wear a hooded sweatshirt under a hooded coat. No double hoods. Double hoods can ruin an otherwise perfect day.

Playing with her new friend, Cassandra, is even more important than watching movies.

Music makes you dance. When you hear it, you let the spirit move you, no matter what you are doing or where you are. This includes bathing, or eating dinner, or sitting on the toilet at the supermarket. Dancing with your hands, when there is no room for dancing with your whole body, is a good alternative.

 Sleeping alone is stupid. 

No one-armed hugs: There is a proper way to cuddle and an improper way to cuddle. Parents should cuddle their children properly. 

If you wake up in the dark to find yourself alone, you should get up and immediatelly find a warm body to get in bed with. Otherwise you should stay where you are and yell, “I want you," at full volume, until someone comes.

Nothing is beyond negotiation: The word, "but" is a very useful word in this regard.

The day after tomorrow is called, the “other tomorrow.”

Kisses should be careful yet deliberate, and preferably in five parts: left cheek, right cheek, forehead, chin, then lips.

For an inside look at her party, look over here. 


cbs111 said...

I have one turning 5 on 12/2. It scares me. With the other kids 5 was a big deal. With him, I'm trying to downplay it because he is my last. Isla seemed to enjoy it and that is what counts.

sharon in prague said...

I just LOVE the picture of her at the top of your blog. What a great catch!

Anonymous said...

My Daisy is 5, too, and she and Isla sound so much alike! Everything you listed could have come straight from her! I have a just-turned-nine son who is a lot like Esther, too. I have noticed the similarities for a long time but "The World according to Isla" made me have to comment. And I agree, that princess dress is wonderful!

SJ-F said...

I love the world according to Isla... it sounds pretty awesome ;), am sure my 3.9 month old has something pretty similar in her head ;)... another brilliant post!

Emma said...

Happy Birthday Isla! I do like your list of dos and don'ts- they are remarkably similar to Ruby's list... especially the one about sleeping alone. Very sensible.

Anonymous said...

The socks one made me laugh out loud. I have a 4 year old girl that would be great friends with Isla.
I gave up on socks the day I picked her up from school and she announced in a sing songy voice loudly that "My stinky smelly socks are in my cubby!" In other words ha mommy!

Betsy said...

kellyb1980: I'm trying to figure out if you are really that much younger than I am, 1980 birth year?, or you graduated that year. If it is your birthyear, you very likely have oodles more energy than I do for those kids of yours. :)Send any to spare my way.

Lorrie said...

Is there any way to find out where to get one of those princess costumes? She looks stunning in it. Happy B'day! FYI: I HATE throwing birthday parties. I think it's strange to invite a bunch of kids over to give my daughter presents on her birthday. It always feels like it should be a private family time. But Jade and my husband disagree and I am outnumbered. :(

Betsy said...

Lorrie: The dress is indeed the most splendorific I've ever seen. It came from T.J. Maxx. The tag inside only has a logo on it,looks like planet saturn, no words. Our friends back in VT found one for their daughter, a friend of Isla's. Isla saw her wearing it, via Skype, and said she just had to have one. They went back and miraculously, there was on still on the rack. Good luck.

Meowmie said...

I love the photos and I love the world according to Isla. What is it with kids that age? There are heaps of rules that an old person like me can't work out, like why some trousers are OK and why others aren't. I've even asked DD to explain this to me and apparently it's a secret. :-)

Lorrie said...

OH, I will definitely have to try TJ Maxx next year for costumes. I am assuming it is the one in Rutland. I don't seem to find much at the Queensbury, NY store.