|Thanks to Meara for the most fantastically stunning, mind-blowing princess dress ever.|
|Thanks to daddy, a.k.a. Marty Stewart, for not just one, but two birthday cakes.|
Okay I will stop now because I never got higher than a C in any math class I ever took. This might have something to do with the fact that I often used high-school algebra and geometry class as a time to hike on the mountain behind our high school. May Ruth Upson rest in peace.
I have taken the time to try, a girl can try, to give those who don't have the great privilege of living under the same roof as Isla, a glimpse into her strange and beautiful world:
The world according to Isla
Halloween is a noun: As in, "Look Esther, I’ve got a Halloween and you’ve got a Halloween." (These were pumpkins she was referring to.)
Chocolate, and any food that seems to come laden with rules of conduct, tastes better when eaten while hiding under the kitchen table.
ABCs and 123s are interchangeable: AB3s and 1BCs, it’s all good.
Shoes are also interchangeable: as long as they fit, and they look nice, why does it matter what feet they are on?
The future and the past are irrelevant: here and now is all that matters. If one wants a cookie, "after lunch" is not an acceptable, or sensible, answer.
Sweets are meant to be eaten at any time of day and any good mommy worth her weight, should have them at hand at all times and in all places.
Drinking too much makes you pee and eating too much makes you poop.
Daddy’s are not beautiful, or soft.
Simba, if he ever saw her in real life, would want to be her friend.
England is full of English people. France is full of French people. And she is American.
There are two different kinds of days: school days and ballet days. All other kinds of days are confusing and unnecessary.
It would be fun if you could hop in, and then back out, of pictures in a book.
When she gets bigger, she willl be like her big sister, Esther.
Mommies should have dressups like princesses and daddies should have dressups lke princes.
Sometimes princesses are even on underpants.
When she gets bigger, she will still be my child.
When it comes to clothes, there are those that are good and those that are stupid. She will carry the secret to how you tell the stupid from the good to her grave.
The same goes for shoes and coats. The secret to coats lies in how easy it is to get your arms in without your sleeves riding up. Bumpiness, in any clothing, is bad.
Socks suck. Socks are an unnecessary nuisance and should be banished from this world.
You cannot wear a hooded sweatshirt under a hooded coat. No double hoods. Double hoods can ruin an otherwise perfect day.
Playing with her new friend, Cassandra, is even more important than watching movies.
Music makes you dance. When you hear it, you let the spirit move you, no matter what you are doing or where you are. This includes bathing, or eating dinner, or sitting on the toilet at the supermarket. Dancing with your hands, when there is no room for dancing with your whole body, is a good alternative.
Sleeping alone is stupid.
No one-armed hugs: There is a proper way to cuddle and an improper way to cuddle. Parents should cuddle their children properly.
If you wake up in the dark to find yourself alone, you should get up and immediatelly find a warm body to get in bed with. Otherwise you should stay where you are and yell, “I want you," at full volume, until someone comes.
Nothing is beyond negotiation: The word, "but" is a very useful word in this regard.
The day after tomorrow is called, the “other tomorrow.”
Kisses should be careful yet deliberate, and preferably in five parts: left cheek, right cheek, forehead, chin, then lips.
For an inside look at her party, look over here.